Inferno [1911]

 

  AKA L’Inferno. This is one of the first few feature length movies ever, second only to Charles Tait’s The Story of the Kelly Gang, though they were a few in between, but they were shown like serials, in chapters. Not sure, don’t bet on it. Based on the Dante Alighieri’s famous 14th century epic poem The Divine Comedy, more precisely on the first part, Inferno. I must resist the urge to talk about the poem more, assuming anyone can read surely knows a great deal about it.

The Black Raven [1943]

 

  An old dark house mystery, starring George Zucco, a character actor supposedly know for his sinister characters, but I saw nothing of that in Dr. Renault’s Secret. Directed by Sam Newfield, a director of legendary output of over two hundred and fifty movies, sometimes as much as twenty per year. He even used two pseudonyms, so they would hide the fact. In an interview, his son tells how the New York office of PCR, the poverty row studio that produced most of his movies at the time, not knowing the fact, called his brother, the head producer or something, in for the meeting, and said that Sam is good, but he should use Sherman Scott and especially Peter Stewart more, ’cause they are simply better. Scott and Stewart were of course Newfield’s pseudonyms. About his movies, Martin Scorsese said: “Newfield is hard, that’s a hard one, you can’t do too much of that.” because he often seems absolutely detached from the images that appear on the screen, as if he is an observer rather than a participant. And how he wouldn’t be considering the fact that most of the movies took less than a week to shoot. But being what it is and clocking at an hour, how bad can it be?

Zombie Women of Satan [2009]

 

  New low budget horrors are usually awful, only trying to be grindhouse but actually being pretty tame, moderate violence and especially nudity. And they have a lot of fucking bras. Brassieres, fuck you! I’d rather see a woman fully clothed, then see her wearing a bra while we should all pretend that she’s naked, only ’cause it was the filmmakers neighbor, so she wanted to show no tits. But I saw some stills from this movie and saw a lot of tits, some gore. Also, I saw that MPAA twats rated it for strong sexuality and nudity. The only thing they’re good for, checking if movie has tits. This poster is delicious, don’t you just love veiny tits? Actually, veins improve any body part, be that arm or penis or whatever. Only rectums are definitely not improved by big veins.

Deranged: Confessions of a Necrophile [1974]

 

  In 1960, a real murderer, a grave robber, supposedly a necrophile and a cannibal, Ed Gein was inspiration behind Norman Bates in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. Fourteen years later a case of collective consciousness made two separate films, one being Tobe Hooper’ The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, another classic horror, and the other, less known and more truthful, Deranged, subtitled Confessions of a Necrophile in the USA. Bob Clark, the director of another horror classic and a personal favourite, Black Christmas, when asked to direct the film, refused, saying the script is too disturbing, and accepted only to produce it under a pseudonym. Also features effects by Tom Savini, who rose to some mainstream fame acting in Robert Rodriguez’ From Dusk Till Dawn and Planet Terror, but where’s he really good is makeup and special effects, working on George A. Romero’s Day of the Dead and more. You too hyped, or is it just me?

Yog: Monster from Space [1970]

 

  AKA Gezora, Ganime, Kameba: Kessen! Nankai no daikaijû. Absolutely awesome poster. Other posters are great too. But somehow I just know there is not gonna be any monster that big, no space fighting. It’s gonna be a guy in a rubber suit slowly stumbling around. Why am I even bothering? The picture is just too beautiful to pass. Directed by Ishirō Honda, the creator of Godzilla and Akira Kurosawa’s assistant director and sometimes more, allegedly directing some segments from Kurosawa’s Dreams.

Calling Dr. Death [1943]

 

  First of the Inner Sanctum films based on a radio program of the same name, by Universal Pictures. Starring Lon Chaney, Jr. who I saw in Bert I. Gordon’s The Cyclops, where I enjoyed his performance. But that’s fourteen years later, and you know how it’s with character actors, they seem to get better with age and tend to have little of charisma when young. Also with J. Carrol Naish, a man I saw in Dr. Renault’s Secret and enjoyed his performance greatly.

Dr. Renault’s Secret [1942]

 

  An WW2 horror mystery with a really lame poser, cast and crew not ringing any bells. Movie is weirdly clocking at less then an hour, but I love that, the shorter the better, while still being a feature, of course. What’s unfortunate, if you try to find out anything about the movie on the Internet, you’ll surely know Dr. Renault’s secret before even watching the movie, since everyone’s comparing the movie to a certain work of literature. But what got me somewhat excited is that it was released in the Fox Horror Classics box alongside Joseph L. Mankiewicz’s Dragonwyck, a brilliant gothic film by a man who made the absolute classic All About Eve only four years later. Hope it’s in the box with a reason.

Icarus XB 1 [1963]

 

  AKA Ikarie XB-1 A Czechoslovakian pre-Star Trek and Pre-2001: A Space Odyssey science fiction film based on a novel by Stanislaw Lem, the author of Solyaris. And not a comedy! I was lead to believe by my mother and Jirí Menzel that Czechs made only comedies. Even more, it’s supposed to feature no monsters from outer space and other trashy stuff most science fiction films of the era were made of, at least American and Japanese.

Silent Night, Deadly Night [1984]

 

  Those of us who love horror fiction know that horror films and Christmas have more in common than you would think. They both give you this warm and fuzzy feeling. And I’m not a retarded eyeliner wearing teen saying that violence and gore give me that warm and fuzzy feeling. What gives it is fear I guess. Like a little boy tells to the famous Italian nightmare detective Dylan Dog in one of the issues, “sometimes it’s nice to feel fear…that way you don’t think about the bad stuff.” Of course, it’s also the pure escapist entertainment of violence. But Christmas is escapist too, don’t you think? So, we have a christmas horror with small role by a legendary scream queen Linnea Quigley. Looks promising.

Mega Piranha [2010]

 

  A movie produced by The Asylum for SyFy with giant mutated piranhas. How can this not be fun? The movie poster says they are created to save mankind. How the fuck can giant piranha save mankind? From who? Besides that the poster is epic, as you can see. I also wondered who Tiffany is. I can’t possibly remember, but she was a shitty (listening to Greatest Hits album as I write) pop singer in the 80s. Twenty years later she posed naked (watching the scans as I write) for Playboy. We have a playboy cover girl here, fuck yeah!