Zombie Women of Satan [2009]


  New low budget horrors are usually awful, only trying to be grindhouse but actually being pretty tame, moderate violence and especially nudity. And they have a lot of fucking bras. Brassieres, fuck you! I’d rather see a woman fully clothed, then see her wearing a bra while we should all pretend that she’s naked, only ’cause it was the filmmakers neighbor, so she wanted to show no tits. But I saw some stills from this movie and saw a lot of tits, some gore. Also, I saw that MPAA twats rated it for strong sexuality and nudity. The only thing they’re good for, checking if movie has tits. This poster is delicious, don’t you just love veiny tits? Actually, veins improve any body part, be that arm or penis or whatever. Only rectums are definitely not improved by big veins.

Burlesque dancer.

  A circus troop made of an obnoxious, masturbating clown Pervo, a rock star, a strongman midget, a big mute guy who doesn’t do anything, another chick that doesn’t do anything and a cowboy who doesn’t do anything. What a troop! They go to this estate for an interview. On this estate a son and a father, with the help of two sisters/daughters, have a sanctuary for troubled girls, where the son is fucking them and the father is doing some experiments with them, turning them into zombies. The shit hits the fan when (check out this likely thing to happen) one of the zombie girls tied to the table drools blood into the punch accidentally being put there, which is later brought to all the other, not yet experimented on, girls. They go crazy, and that manifests in a very nice way. They maniacally tear their upper body garment, exposing their breasts. This should really because a standard of this otherwise dull horror sub genre.

Some chick.

  Pervo the Clown (Warren Speed) is absolutely obnoxious, but in a slightly likable way, mainly because he reminds me of Lux Interior from The Cramps. He sports a white painted black leather jacket which peels itself throughout the movie, giving it a cool look; and he is a chronic masturbator, taking any excuse to go into the woods to jerk off. I can relate to that. The mute guy is dull, just like the rock star. The midget is cool, he shits a thirty pounds shit, falcon punches zombie chicks, uses frying pan as a weapon and generally is being ridiculed for being a midget. The bad guys are dull too, except maybe for the brother and the fucker of the operation. The whole family is incestuous, the mother is tied in the basement and repeatedly expresses her wish to be fucked by either the son or the father. Son respects that wish kinda, giving her definitely not a mother-son kiss. At one point father films his son fucking a zombie.

Some more chicks. In gas masks.

  The movie is, like all other new indie low budget movies, kinda meta-referential. Why do I have to have the feeling that they know they’re in a movie? It’s irritating and kills the atmosphere. Which is not here anyway. There are no scary moments, funny moments or sexy moments, despite all the tits. The tits are all attached to ugly BBW women. I’m a kind person, and would never call a woman ugly just ’cause she’s fat. But you gotta see them faces, Jesus! Still, I enjoy watching them big saggy BBW tits. Jokes are not inspired by stuff happening around them, but completely random, unfunny, they are repeating themselves. Only good thing about this movie is gore. It’s really good, and there’s no CGI except in two scenes, not violence related.

Father’s lab.

  This movie is better then most movies of it’s kind. But that’s not saying much, I rarely choose to watch these movies, usually the days when I jerk off to some fucked up porn, later asking myself “what have I done?” This movie will have the same effect. If you value your time at all, or if you want to watch a movie that will make you appreciate it on any level for any thing, don’t watch it. If you know you’re gonna watch some amateurish shit and will be bored throughout, watch it. I did, and got exactly what I knew I’m gonna get. You don’t know did I just recommend it or what? Do I like it? Neither do I.

The troop.

Stripping manifestation of the virus.

Decant gore.

More tits.

They must’ve picked all the extras on some metal concert.

I bet wasn’t much prettier when alive.

Midget with a frying pan. Sam?


Mute became a zombie. I couldn’t care less.

Preparing lunch.

I dig his jacket.

Tits are on screen throughout the movie.

Incestuous shoot I was talking about.

Oh my God, I spoiled it for you!

She also shoots acid milk from her breasts. If the whole movie was filled with this fun shit, it’d be much better.



One Response to “Zombie Women of Satan [2009]”

  1. leila Says:

    jej pročitah i nezz

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