The White Reindeer [1952]

 

  AKA Valkoinen Peura. This Finnish movie won the Golden Globe Award for Best Foreign Film. In Cannes, it won the Fairy Tale Film Award, whatever that is, and was nominated for the Grand Prize of the Festival, and what would that be in 1957 I don’t know, because Palme d’Or was already called Palme d’Or by then, and what is today Grand Prix didn’t exist. Nevertheless, it was a good and well known film back than, or so it appears. Today, it obviously lays forgotten. Is it a hidden gem or just another mistake of the critics?

I thinks it’s gonna be a good movie guys.

  The setting of the film is Lapland (and it was filmed on location), a beautiful yet cruel country where it seems like time stopped. Pirita (Mirjami Kuosmanen) is a peasant girl married to a reindeer shepard, who not long after they get married goes to one of his wanderings, to feed the reindeers. She ain’t happy about it and goes to the local shaman seeking advice. He gives her the potion of ten deer testicles (I’m not kidding). But how can a potion have no side effects. It transforms her in to the white reindeer, which lures hunters away, transforms into a beautiful woman that she is and then of course kills them.

He falls asleep afterwards too. And she’s hatin’ of course. Poor fella.

  The Lapland setting gives so much to the atmosphere, because it’s an outworldly feel to it. Also, it’s very interesting to see the native life of Lapp people, cross-country skiing all the time and having herds of reindeer. Normal people have horses or camels, only Santa Clause has reindeer. Reindeer has irregular plural. You learn something new every day. Mirjami Kuosmanen is beautiful, in a special way, and also has a great Ana Magnani-like charisma which gives her role a powerful feel of a woman strong, but desperate.

Shaman’s house.

  The movie is beautifully shot in almost monochromatic black and white. The pace is slow, hte dialogue is sparse, the movie let’s you get into the magical atmosphere, but still shot in a documentary way, adding the supernatural element in an almost magic realism way. But what’s weird about the sparse is the way it’s made. Ok, many movies have little dialogue, but here it has the feeling of a silent movie. When there’s definitely something to be said, they over gesticulate. Two people see a scary reindeer, the one nudges the other, looks at him, looks at the reindeer, points dramatically at him, and no one makes a sound. All you hear is some not too expressive and kinda random music.

The shaman.

  It’s a beautiful and atmospheric movie, telling a never before seen, but not really original and interesting story, showing a different culture which I also never before saw on film. If you love werewolf and vampire movies (this sounds bad, like I’m gonna recommend this to Twilight fans), watch it. But don’t expect trashy 50s entertainment with special effects.

Like she saw my cock.

  P.S.
Only now the idea occurred to me that they have a reindeer totem, and the white reindeer is a spirit which punishes the shepherds (I think only shepherds die in this movie) for breaking the taboo imposed by choosing a reindeer as a totem. Cause you know, they go on this long wanderings, there are no women around to please them and no people to catch them red handed (or should I say white handed, if you catch my drift). And even more, I suspect that have penises like horses, big and human-like. So, they break the sexual taboo and the white reindeer, ironically being a woman and seducing them, punishes them. Fantastic zoophilia rape and revenge is what this movie actually is.

Buahahaha!

I wanna go there for Christmas.

And here for Halloween.

Seppuku?

I fucking loved the totem scene.

And who wouldn’t love it?

She’s afraid of their spears.

Maybe reindeer testicles have some hallucinogenic properties.

The symbolic graveyard in front of the totem, of all the reindeer that shepherds violated.

Coffin sleep.

Now it’s reindeer turn to do the sucking!

What do you need weed for when you’ve got hallucinogenic reindeer testicles? It’s wouldn’t be the first time you put them in your mouth.

Fighting sexual discrimination.