Magic Island [1995]


 

  Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor’s eldest son Brad stars in this straight to VHS children’s movie. Actually Zachery Ty Bryan stars, but we all know him as Brad anyways. When I saw it I just had to watch it, it’s a children’s movie from my childhood era, it’s rare, it went out on VHS, it has pirates, magic islands, k-rad main kid, all the thing I love.



Little Brad as Mad Jack

  “Mad” jack is a classic kid, plays hand-held video game consoles while at table, ALWAYS plays loud gay rock music like Guns and Roses on his portable music player, wears some rad sneakers which are his companions even in bed (while he plays some now non-hand-held video games). And of course, he doesn’t read books (who the fuck reads anyways, I can see no blood, guts and pussy in a book). After, I guess, he proves to the evil computer that humans are better than machines for the fifth time this week, he is extremely bored and his maid gives him a book to read, a book about a magic island. He is of course frowning at the very thought of reading a book and throws it away. But sounds are heard from the book, and once he opens it, he is sucked into a book. “Into”, not “off by”, you pervert.



Jack getting sucked . . . in

  Once on the island, he meets a group of buccaneers, which consists of a random captain, an extremely charming girls always willing to fight and a Samoan football player disguised as just another buccaneers. But a saw through him like through a…I don’t know something that’s thin, like a layer of gold when that thing with a laser is done. Never mind that, let’s go back to the story. He gotta help them find the gold on the island, and only when will the now-empty portkey book is written again will he be able to return through it back home. But it’s not that easy, they are being chased to the gold by a group of pirates led by a Captain Hook lookalike, and they gotta beat them off.



Evil but clumsy pirates

  On their quest they meet a young mermaid, get strayed of the road by a pizza tree, under which a sand shark-like monster dwells and many other things. The characters are all lovable, funny, but not exaggerated, the humour is sometimes silly and sometimes slapstick, always funny, the slapstick part especially charming due to the added cartoon sounds, like a loud BONK when the pirate captain is repeatedly hit on the head.. It’s a nice little naïve movie, extremely charming, like a one you would caught on telly on a Sunday morning, and it would make your day. Recommended for all children and, however corny and cheesy is sounds, the ones that feel that way.



The buccaneer lady, I’m in love <3



Rad bed companions



If biblical tree of knowledge had pizza instead of apples, I bet Adam wouldn’t have needed any persuasion…



…and it would’ve been guarded by something meaner than a snake



Samoan NFL player



Creepy mermaid girl



All monsters should be stop motion, I say

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8 Responses to “Magic Island [1995]”

  1. Ementaler Says:

    I SOO HORNY ON KARLO. I BAN HIM FOR MY STUPIDITY OF JACKING OFF NON STOP ON HIS MACHO POST.

  2. Ementaler Says:

    YES, A CAN’T REMEMBER THE NAME. ONE TIME… WHO IM LYING TO…. MANY TIMES I PUT PENIS IN WYZARD TO MAKE HIM PUT NEW NEWS ON OUR POPULAR GAMING SITE. I DONT MIND COUSE MY MIND IS RAINBOW AND HIS WORKING DEPENDS ON MY FUEL INSIDE HIS ANUS. SOMETIMES JUST IN CASE TO HACE FUNS ON REGULAR DAY; WE CHANGE ROLLS. I LIKE BOTH WAYS

    • YOUR MIND MADE OF RAINBOWS THAT’S INTERESTING I REMEMBER ONE BOY HAD MIND OF ONLY GRAY AND HE DIDN’T WANT MY PENIS I HAD TO RAPE HIS ASSHOLE SAD STORY ALL HEADS I WANT MADE OF RAINBOW, ESPECIALLY LITTLE CHILDREN

  3. Ementaler Says:

    I DONT KNWO IT IS COINCIDENCE BUT… I ALSO FELL IN LOVE WITH A BOY NAMED MR SOLIDUS. HE WAS YOUNG AND MACHO. ONE DAY, AFTER LONG THAT AT MY SITE – TOTALLY RENDOM I SAW HIM STANDING NEXT TO NESPAPERSTAND. I SAID TO MYSELF I COULD USE A DIRTY BITCH. SO I TRY, I TELL HIM THAT HE WILL RUNS OUR PORTAL, PUTS BAN ON OTHER PEOPLE AND SO ON… AS I TOLK AND TALKD I SAW HIS PENIS SLOWLY BUT SURELY RISING JUST LIKE SUN RAYS ON HIS FACE
    ANYWAY LIKE AN HOUR AGO A FILLED HIS ANUS WITH MY FUEL AND HE MOAN LIKE A BITCH, THE NEAXT THING HE DO WAS DROPING ON HIS KNEES AND EATING MY HARD PENIZ WITH HIS SKHRBA’S MOUTH. AFTER LONG TIME I WAS IN LOVE. I CALLED HIM DAY IN AND OUT BUT HE NEVER RETURNED HIS CALLS… I HEARD HE STARTED LIKE “ALL INTO PUSSY NOW” MOOD MACHO BULLCRAP AND LIFTING WEIGHTS TO FOOL HIMSELF THAT HE IS COOL AND ALL TO TH
    AND ALL TO THE VAGINA SUDDENLY

    • MMMM MISTER SOLIDUS HE MAKE ME SUCK COCK FIRST BEFORE I LIKED IT. BUT I’M HAPPY HE DID BECAUSE NOW I CAN’T DRINK ENOUGH OF HIS SPERM. HE’S AN OLD HOMOSEXUAL AND HE CAN’T FOOL NO ANYBODY WITH HIS STRONG ARMS. I SAY HOWEVER MANY MUSCLES ON THAT ARMS YOU CAN STILL JERK MY COCK, NOW EVEN HARDER HAHAHAHAA IT A LITTLE GAME WE PLAY.

  4. Looks faggy.

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