Zinda [2006]


  Most of you have seen Oldboy. Also most of you, although I must admit I don’t know why, liked it. But if you’re awesome like me, and didn’t like what you saw, than this is the movie for you. This is not a movie like Oldboy, this is a unauthorised remake of Oldboy, except for the ending, because it’s fucking India, they don’t eat cows, how can they include incest in their movies. Oh, fuck, that was a spoiler of the Korean version, sorry, forgot to mention it.

Our hero and his gold digger

  So, if you have been living under a rock where only good movies dwell, let me break it for you. Balajeet “Bala” Roy is a successful software developer, just married to a beautiful gold digger (I mean, look at him), all is well including the new job he got in Bangkok. Jesus, it’s Bangkok, he could’ve know something fucked up is going to happen, I mean they have girls with cocks there. They even have a cock in the name! Well, what happened is that he was imprisoned for 14 years, without any apparent reason. After 14 years, he is freed, but has only four days to discover who imprisoned him. Will he discover who captured him? Will he become a hammer-only dentist? Will he buy buy his daughters virginity at the public bidding and use it properly? See the movie!

His gold digger later on

  Of course, aside all the shit I gave the original Oldboy, this movie is ridicilous. If you want to entertained, maybe it’s even better to watch this one. But no one is watching Oldboy to be entertained. It’s supposed to be a powerful movie, to depict the state of men when literally everything is taken from him. But when you watch Zinda you don’t feel that, actually you don’t feel anything except, if you like the original, irritation. But what may be is the thing that Oldboy, also Zinda having the same plot, does not have any repetitive values. It’s powerful the first time you’re watching it because you don’t know what’s happening, you feel the agony of not knowing. But now I know, and I don’t feel it. I just don’t care.

Bala’s little helper

  There’s just no reason for anyone to watch this movie. It’s not the worst movie ever made. On it’s own it may be even called good. But with the far superior Oldboy, there’s no reason for you to see it except to feed your curiosity.

She’s gonna die for his sins

Yep, catana action

All cool men have stitches

You wanna see the movie now, don’t you?

More of pointless torture close ups

Shibani Kashyap – Zinda Hoon Main

3 Responses to “Zinda [2006]”

  1. vgvguvugvuhvug Says:

    good review…I would rather die than watch this </3

  2. Paragraph Film Reviews Says:

    My Oldboy review’s going up later today. Have this in my ‘To Watch’ pile… should be interesting…

  3. Paragraph Film Reviews Says:

    Review of this is going up later today… I can’t believe anyone could churn out something this appalling.

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